Description:
This lesson follows Richard through twenty years of ministry experience before anyone suggested that he have an accountability partner. It will challenge each man to examine the positive results in his life by participating in an accountability friendship.
“Blessing on each man who will seriously consider that his life is precious to God as well as to the church, and that God desires he live a righteous life. Further, that meeting with an accountability partner will be a positive addition to his spiritual activities.”
– C. Marsh Bull
Accountability Study
LESSON 1 – Accountability What?
(www.mensgroup.org – “Original Study”)
PRAY: A suggested opening prayer for small group members or individuals to invite God to connect as we seek Him in His Word. Feel free to add your own words, “in prayer.”
God, we are fearfully and wonderfully made and we know that You delight in each one of us as we do right. Help us to understand clearly what it means to be accountable for our lives before You, and also before the world. Protect us in the trials that come upon us and help us to be accountable.
OPENING QUESTIONS:
1. When have you been accountable for your life to another person?
2. What were its advantages?
SCRIPTURE PASSAGE:
But David took an oath and said, Your father knows very well that I have found favor in your eyes, and he said to himself, ‘Jonathan must not know this or he will be grieved.’ Yet as surely as the Lord lives and as you live, there is only a step between me and death. Jonathan said to David, “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you. (1 Samuel 20:3-4)
LESSON:
Jonathan and David’s hearts were knit together since he killed the giant, Goliath. In this passage, David seeks to convince Jonathan that Saul, his father, is seeking to kill him. Though Jonathan has some initial disbelief, he does come alongside David and ask him what he could do to help him. We are looking for a similar action to take place between you and a friend as he commits to help you with accountability.
The following backstory to our study considers a challenge by a Senior Pastor to his new staff member, that would be me, about finding an accountability partner.
There I was in the Senior Pastor’s office. He had requested we meet just two months after I began working at the church as its Singles Pastor. I was curious about the reason for the meeting, but promptly replied. The Senior Pastor had been there for many years before I was hired. I respected him and his wisdom and wanted to be a part of making the pastor and other staff successful with a growing congregation.
I spent four years at a Bible College, sat in many courses, had a major in Bible and minor in music, was involved in sports, and spent my last year there as the student body president. Later I spent seven years in graduate work at two different Seminaries obtaining two master's degrees. People knew me and I enjoyed my experience in both undergrad and post-graduate work, but no one suggested this important challenge to become accountable to another man and I don’t remember this topic being discussed in any of my courses.
Besides my educational experiences, I was on the staff in three different churches, in California, Colorado, and Virginia, and on a traveling revival ministry team for two years. In my time at each place, I participated in many ministry discussions and prayed with other members of the team. I grew in my understanding of the church and I made many connections to believers in each congregation that brightened my life, but no one challenged me to be accountable to someone with respect to my life.
I was single during the first part of my time in ministry and later married. We had a child, and shortly after that my life crashed into real-world problems. My wife decided to exit our marriage of eight years. There was unfaithfulness on her part but I didn’t walk through that time without sharing some of the blame. It was a tough experience and little did I know how much it would help me in my future ministry. It was for sure a testing time and, as I reflect on it now, I would have benefited by having an accountability partner, but no one encouraged me to it.
My second wife came into the picture six years later. We had known each other before either of us was married to our previous spouses but had not spoken for fifteen years. She too had a spouse who was unfaithful. We started a relationship and several months later began a blended family home with her daughters, my son from my first marriage, and amazingly a new son that came along at the end of our first year of marriage. No one came beside me, or helped me to see the differences present in a blended family as opposed to a nuclear family, neither did anyone talk with me about being accountable to another man during that time.
Two years after we were married, I felt the desire to go back into ministry. It had been years of business work while I healed and did what was necessary to get back to square one. I didn’t know if I would even be accepted because there was a divorce in my history. I sent out thirty-four resumes, received several interviews, and eventually was called to work at a church in January 1991.
Two months later I found myself in the Senior Pastor’s office at the age of forty-one, having a conversation with him about accountability. During his tenure at this church, a staff member had participated in an affair which was one of the reasons he decided to require accountability for all staff. He explained accountability to me, which no one had ever done before, and gave me two weeks to come back to him and verify that I had enlisted an accountability person.
Maybe you have a similar story or one quite different but the reality is that not many men have heard about being in accountability. And, that it should be happening far wider than just recommending it to a church’s staff. It is needed in all types of secular work, too. Families, reputations, businesses, churches, and non-profits need their people to be accountable. There is too much at stake not to have it available for men and women, even government work as well.
Here are a few more personal things to what I have previously said. Accountability is important but your age, marital status, position in business or church, whether male or female, or any other additional criteria, should have any bearing on whether or not you have an accountability partner. It is a responsible choice to participate for your sake and for those around you.
In my life, I have encouraged this very important step as something every believer should do. That’s why I have created this lesson series for you—to clearly present and encourage you to use the information provided to initiate an accountability partnership for yourself.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. David and Jonathan are a good model of how this would look. What do you know about their friendship?
2. What struck you most in Richard’s story?
3. What are your thoughts concerning personal accountability?
APPLICATION:
1. Thinking of your personal experience and knowing briefly about accountability from this lesson, how do you think having an accountability partner would help you?
2. What would be important areas for you to share with your accountability partner?
3. Who would you think of being your accountability partner?
CLOSING PRAYER:
God, we understand that we are your highest creation, and yet we still make mistakes and can hurt ourselves and others with our words and actions. We understand that there is help available to us through the means of an accountability partner who will come alongside us and provide encouragement. Help us to take this seriously and begin to pray for a person to be accountable to.
Suggested Additional Resources:
No additional resources for this lesson.
Continue to Lesson 2 – Accountability Needed?
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