Description:
Our objective in this lesson is to understand a man’s desire for independence but also his need to be interdependent with others and accountable to a person of his choosing.
“Blessing on each man who considers the benefits of accountability and takes the steps to create an accountability partner.”
– C. Marsh Bull
Accountability Study
LESSON 3 – Accountability Benefits
(www.mensgroup.org – “Original Study”)
PRAY: A suggested opening prayer for small group members or individuals to invite God to connect as we seek Him in His Word. Feel free to add your own words, “in prayer.”
Heavenly Father, we understand our uniqueness and our inner drive to be independent but help us to see from this lesson that there are several benefits to having an accountability partner and it will not hinder our independence.
OPENING QUESTIONS:
1. What level of independence do you now enjoy?
2. How have you been accountable in your life so far?
SCRIPTURE PASSAGE:
Jesus speaks to the Pharisees about their words, But I tell you that everyone will have to give an account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, or by your words you will be condemned. (Matthew 12:36-37) So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. (Romans 14:12)
LESSON:
As men, we take our independence seriously. It’s taken us years of childhood and adolescence to obtain it. Those around us, including our parents, encouraged us to be independent, so we oblige them. Having achieved it, that’s where we want to stay for the rest of our life -- thinking that is normal.
We could think the suggestion of an accountability partner might be a hindrance to our well-deserved independence. Or, our stubbornness in our independence could cause us to push back at any smidgen of it being taken away, even if it could enhance our life. Or, we could deceive ourselves into valuing our independence so much that we step in a trap that takes us off course in the process of conformity to Christ.
The truth is that making ourselves willingly accountable to another person can enhance and increase our rate of growth in Christ. God made us for relationship, as He is in relationship, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and He desires us to move from dependence to independence and then on to interdependence, with people we trust and with Him.
Consider what the wisest man on the earth said:
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)
The general sense of an accountability friendship is that you ask your committed friend to ask you questions that you have written out for him. They should be concerns you have for your life and places you want to grow in your Christian life. These could include your personal, family, work, social, or spiritual areas in which you want to be held accountable to grow. It is not a friendship where your friend is in charge of your life. You are still independent but also interdependent.
Your honest answers to your friend’s questions, which are really your questions you gave him permission to ask you, can lead to good discussions and decisions to grow in many areas.
There are many benefits for you and him in this process.
Here are some examples:
To you:
· It develops personal responsibility to reach your goals
· It hinders excuses for not following through on your goals
· It promotes growing your maturity in Christ and your emotional well-being
· It helps to keep your priorities in perspective
To your accountability partner:
· It develops commitment to God and to one another
· It promotes openness and honesty between two friends, as all discussions are held with confidentiality
· It increases both of your faiths as goals are accomplished
To your church body:
· It reveals unconditional love on both sides (love for God, love for the person holding you accountable)
· It demonstrates total acceptance in the body of Christ
· It recognizes forgiveness upon request without bitterness
This is just the beginning. In the next lesson, we will provide an overview of accountability.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. Where do you fall on the dependability, independence, and interdependence scale?
2. How do you feel about meeting with another man once or twice per month to talk about your life?
3. On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being no interest and 10 being deep interest in accountability, where are you right now?
APPLICATION:
1. If you were to start an accountability friendship this week, what would be some questions you would want your accountability partner to ask you every time you meet?
2. What are you most concerned about in initiating and maintaining an accountability partner?
3. How can independence and interdependence be a benefit for you?
CLOSING PRAYER:
Heavenly Father, we are your sons and we desire to be more and more like your son, Jesus. Guide us in our prayers about the accountability process, and help us to find another man who best would fill this role in our life.
Suggested Additional Resources:
No additional resources for this lesson.
Continue to Lesson 4 – Accountability Nuts and Bolts
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