Some people live life in a "gray world" without God. They are trying to live "life on the average" without getting too high or too low. They don't live "in the light" and try to avoid the "darkness". I believe when people do this, they end up just enduring life rather than living life to the fullest. Life's reality is that we will experience time in the "light" and time in the "darkness".
Pain, loss and sorrow are a part of being human and living our life on earth. Happiness and joy are also a part of our human experience. Life in reality is a series of mountain top experiences and deep valley events.
I have written of the "Gray World" from my own personal experiences but recently discovered Scripture that sounds familiar. Revelation 3:15-16 says;
15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you either one or
the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm, - neither hot nor cold --- I am about to
spit you out of my mouth. - NIV
If you try to live "life on the average", you are trying to suspend yourself in an unnatural world created "by you" and "not God". To me, this is like living a slow death on earth. With God by our side, we have the strength to endure what life brings us, especially peace in times of great loss and pain.
Note. We are proud to offer a short Bible study guide, "Do You Live Life In A "Gray World" Without Trusting God?" that corresponds with this discussion topic. (CLICK HERE TO BE TAKEN TO THAT STUDY)
I have written below about the gray world and the foolishness of trying to protect ourselves by living an "Average Life". Feel free to read the poems and discuss what they mean to you.
My Gray World
I want to feel pain of the past
I want to feel fear of the future
I want black back in my life
I want white light in my eyes
I want to feel pain in my
heart but peace in my soul
I want to survive the darkness, to soar in the light again
I must escape the
death of a gray world
Gray is a mixture of
black and white
An average of two
extreme colors
We cannot live
"life on the average"
Life is not average
Life can be painful
Life is hopeful
We are "not average"
We are created
"uniquely" by God
Live in the darkness
of life's reality
Or accept the brightness
of His Love
God's Love is never gray
04/20/2000 Men's Group
I wrote the poem above during
a Men's Small Group meeting
in early 2000. I was trying to
find my way after losing my
wife Arlene to cancer.
I was discovering you can't
survive in life by trying
avoiding pain and loss,
it is a part of life.
On the Average
Do you live life on the average
carefully positioned between extremes
avoiding pain and pleasure
choosing safety as a means?
If your answer is affirmative,
your life is underfed
You’ve favored numb existence,
nourishing the dead
Was man created for mere normal?
Does survival depend on bland?
Or is a life of meaning
One that takes a stand?
Living beyond great pain
to risk an earthly love
Pays heaven’s worthy price
for admission up above
Let your unbound life take the open road
mapping vistas of endless joy
should pain present along the way
let love its force deploy
Choose life, choose love
let freedom be your guide;
though rocky and uncertain
proclaim, “I am alive”
2/14/00, Memphis Hotel
Early Morning Thoughts
Words enter freely from
thoughts deep of mind
Words arrive representing
visions of my mind’s thoughts
Words appear to symbolize
the conflict of reality
versus visions of hope
I am alive and therefore
eligible for pain
I am alive and
thus opento Love
I am alive and hence
ready to be saved
I am dead in many ways
Dead from life’s
previous sinful nature
Dead from Satan’s
alluring promises
Dead from living an
average life
How can I be both
alive and dead?
How can I exist in
darkness and light?
How can I live in the
light and the dark?
I am alive because I
feel both pain and love
I am alive because I
continually strive
Strive to reside in the light
Strive to escape the dark
I am alive because,
I choose to live
I am alive because,
pure existence is
not an option
I am alive because I
avoid the trap of an
average existence
An average life
is not living
An average life
dies from within
An average life is
the color of gray
An average life feels
neither the light of love
nor the pain of darkness
Gray is the color,
of my coffin
12/15/02 Random poem
in Agoura, CA
The Wanderer
Moving forward
Moving backward
Traveling in circles
Never stopping
Never pausing
Forever moving someplace
Forever traveling somewhere
Too slow to hear the wind
Too fast to feel the sun
Blurred images of long-ago landscapes
Forgotten memories of good times
Repressed recall of heartfelt pain
Gray contrails of speeding images
Bright colors muted by constant motion
Gray brilliantly shrouding an empty existence
Gray is the perfect color
disguising a grief-stricken trip
Gray, neither black nor white
Gray, neither dark nor bright
Gray, the color of choice
A deadly color if
you have arrived at
your destination
still lost
04/16/00. Fly Atlanta to Memphis
Wandering Again
I am wandering again
Moving forward,
Probably
Moving backward,
Possibly
Moving in circles,
Absolutely
Why do I still wander?
God!
Haven’t I asked for directions?
Haven’t I prayed for guidance?
I have given my
heart and soul to You
Expecting my
wandering
to cease
Expecting peace
everlasting
But, I haven’t accepted
Your Will
Same ole’ story,
fight and resist
God, please help me!
Help me to let go
Help me to trust
Never to ever
wander again
Why?
Because,
God does
not wander
04/19/00 Calvary Church,
San Diego
Running in Place
We have all heard
of running in place
Personally doing it at
one time or another
Moving our feet but
staying in one place
Expending energy to
remain stationery
Why would people
run in place?
There are several reasons:
Waste a little time
Maybe get in shape
Avoid making decisions
Avoid burning extra energy
Delay going somewhere or someplace
Running in place is
neither running nor resting
Actually, the average of the two
Neither coming nor going
Neither moving forward
nor retreating
Why would anyone want
to do that?
Sounds a little like
neither living nor dying
Living in an unreal
suspended world
I don’t think that is good
We all need to go
someplace sometime
Moving forward keeps us alive
Movement sustains us
In the end we either
live or die
Certainly not,
running in place
05/20/2000 In the Midwest
Nowhere Man
Where am I going?
I have no idea
maybe God knows
I believe I see clearly now
with my blacked-out glasses
My heart is open to anything,
but closed to the vastness of emotions.
I feel so free now,
but am paralyzed to act.
I have a clear mind for the future
but the future is shrouded and cloudy.
I am somewhere but nowhere at the same time
I love God with all my heart and soul
I have no fear of an unknown future
I feel full of peace in my heart
but lacking peaceful feelings
As a mere mortal, I feel like a nowhere man
As God’s disciple, I feel full of trust and acceptance
of where I am
Perhaps I do know
what is happening to me
I am somewhere just waiting
for God to let me know I have arrived.
03/31/2000. Flight Chicago to Phoenix